To a postman
Sir, you are a wit and a wheeze, you have three degrees
Your memory is excellent, you are indeed intelligent
You are skilled in your profession but could I offer the counsel of perfection ?
I don't want to cause you anger, outrage or anguish, but I don't want you in foul language to languish
Well is there an alternative to swearing ? Indeed I find it all quite wearing
Well if I may have a word in your ear, there is a poem I'd like you to hear
In another world, in another time, people spoke more logically then
when they felt annoyed they said, 'I'm annoyed about what's happened"
when they felt angry they said; "I'm angry that he did that"
but in this blanking crazy blanking world I blanking well can't understand it
peoples blanking thoughts are blanking decrepit
it makes me want to shout
in fact half their bleeping words should blanking well be blanked out
But I greatly lament the loss of certain words from circulation in our vocabulary
in fact I find it intensely sad that words denoting size and magnitude are missing quite regularly
I deeply despair about the absence of words which express feeling and emotion
to hear a phrase like; "That maddens me", would be something of a lotion
I quite mourn their displacement by a couple of vulgar swear words
which keep reappearing like stinking pavement dog turds
I'm severely sickened by the constant use of a particular swear word I won't mention
If I'd had twenty one pence for every-time it was used I'd already be on my pension
why when there is a library of words do you make do with just two?
I'm afraid that doing so just degrades you
I'm very sorry but when I'm enraged my mind goes all haywire and confused
it grabs for something / anything dumb and overused
Oh help, oh help I need some help whenever I am furious
that I won't say something that is useless, hurtful or injurious
Instead I plan to say something like; "I'm infuriated"
and certainly not anything which might be berated
So I will, I must, I need to expand my diction, even if it causes me or you a certain friction
Dress thyself in fine words oh men, and deliver a good reputation for postmen.
Actually swearing and name calling is banter, lazy thinking, quite funny sometimes, you can get a joke out of it. It isn't really an issue if you understand that it is low resolution thinking and not proper thought. If you can instantly put it into an emotionally literate form then you don't have anything to worry about.
Look at the phrase, " He is a flaming annoying little ----"
"Annoying" is in there, it just depends on what bit of the speech you focus on, "It annoys me that he does that".